4 Things I’m Focused on at 36

Hi Beloved! First, thanks to all my friends who took time to send me messages of love and celebration for my birthday yesterday. I felt all the love sent. 💫💓

Those who know me best know that I’m an analyst by nature. I love making plans, logistics, action steps, to-do lists, etc. And I really enjoy reviewing on the back end to see how things went. I want to know what went wrong. And what went right. I’ve spent the last few months letting go of people, things, habits, fears, resentments…dead things in my life. Because at some point you have to stop watering dead plants, right? I’ve been making space in my life so that what I want can ease on in. Some things have been surprisingly easy, and some things have been super hard. But it’s all been so good for me, and I wouldn’t trade it for anything or anyone.

Over the last few weeks I’ve spent time reflecting on what 35 looked like for me, taking note of the highlights as well as the things that were a waste of resources. Through that process of sifting I’ve gleaned 4 areas of my life that bring me the most fulfillment…4 areas I intend to focus more of my life resources on at age 36. I thought I’d share those things with my friends and followers, so you know what the next year will look like for me…and maybe even inspire some of you to join me on the journey in your own way:

1. My “Sacred Hour” (my personal spiritual practice)

2. Meaningful, real-life connections

3. Using my gifts to serve the world

4. Connecting with nature

My sacred hour is top on my list. This is what that looks like for me, and why it’s at the top:

15 minutes of yoga stretches or any other physical routine that opens me up, gets my heart pumping, etc. I’m not an expert in this area by far, but there is something magical that happens when we exercise that opens us up…maybe it’s the increased heartbeat, the heavier breathing, the chemicals that are released during exercise, or maybe it’s a combination of all of those. After a workout, especially one that includes stretching, my heart always feel more alive, more free, and more in tune with my inner self.

15 minutes of writing out what I’m grateful for, or thought/feelings purge, recovery work, journaling, etc. We all need time to sit with our feelings. We need to allow ourselves to tune into what the vulnerable places in you are needing. You can’t process traumatic or hurtful experiences if you don’t allow yourself to acknowledge and experience them. These are fundamental elements to emotional healing and health. Most addicts aren’t addicted to one specific thing. They (we) are addicted to filling a void within themselves with things other than their OWN love. Loving you’re self takes time. Time to think. Time to feel. Time to process. Life invites us to turn inward and mindfully deal with our difficult emotions. We are also served well by taking time to count our blessings…to name them, one by one. I believe (because my life experience has shown me) that gratitude is like a MAGNET for good things. Try it, you’ll like it!

15 Minutes of meditation comes next. Once I’ve taken the time to open my heart, purge my thoughts and feeligs with pen and paper, and my mind is feeling more clear, I sit in silence with myself and breathe. This calming experience always helps me calm my mind and get centered.

I finish my sacred hour with 15 minutes of prayer and affirmations. I use this time to remind myself of what I believe to be true about myself and life, and to set (or re-set) my intentions. Sometimes I practice Mirror Work, the self-care tool taught by Louise Hay that I teach in my book Satisfy Your Soul. On good days when I feel nourished and strong I spend this time intentionally sending good vibes, light, and love to those who come to mind that need support in my life.

Next on my list is meaningful, real-life connections.

I’ve noticed a negative pattern in my life when I’m single. I give my time away carelessly and unintentionally to people I don’t know. I do this because they are attractive or seem like an ideal friend or mate, or because they show lots of interest in me. 9 times out of 10 these types of online connections never convert to real-life relationships. So I’ve decided to be more careful with who I give my time to, and pay more attention to the why behind it when I do engage with others.

I’ve also made some small, practical tweaks too; I used to change my phone number for “privacy reasons” about once a year. I realized this year that habit was creating isolation and disconnectedness. So I’m going to try to avoid changing my number. And I allow my kids to take turns sitting in the front seat of my car now. This small change has already given us a chance to bond more in the car.

I am also becoming more and more aware of how short my time with my mother is. I’ve heard several stories in recent weeks of how difficult it can be to lose a parent. So, I intend to devote more time to be with her in the coming year.

I’m also setting the intention to serve more in the coming year. One of the highlights of my year was speaking at a conference in Vegas this summer. At the end of my talk, a middle-aged woman waited patiently on the sidelines until the room was almost completely empty. She approached me with tears in her eyes and started sharing with me how much she needed to hear my talk that day, and what it specifically meant for her. I was close to tears myself. I had just started walking through a very painful breakup less than a week prior, and it was extremely difficult to even keep my speaking commitment. The positive, healing impact I was able to make on this woman’s life made it ALL worth it, and then some. And I intend to create more experiences like that in the year ahead.

Beloved, we are all here for ONE purpose, and one purpose alone. And that is to give and receive love. Loving is about accepting one another, and trusting that even though we may have different values, and different ways of life, we are all here on our own unique journey and we are all here to teach and show each other the way. Our world desperately needs more love, empathy, compassion, and understanding. We are all cut from the same cloth, we are all made of the same thing, and we will all return to the same place. We were all chosen to be born on Earth to help the planet, to help our fellow humans, to help advance the human race, and to raise the consciousness of the planet.

Lastly, connecting with nature made the list because of a very in-expensive purchase this year: I bought our family hammocks. And the experiences I’ve been able to create with them has refreshed my soul. Enough said.

One of my regular affirmations over my life is “I am open to ALL the good life has for me.” I am making these focus shifts because I want to make room for more good in my life. If you choose to embark on a similar season of focused living with me, I am confident you will find the following positive benefits popping up in your life:

  • Better mood and more positive outlook on life
  • Increased energy, motivation, ambition and stamina
  • Lower levels of stress and anxiety
  • Feeling centered and balanced
  • Feeling of accomplishment and success that lasts all day
  • Overall increase in sense of well-being

Are you with me, beloved?

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One thought on “4 Things I’m Focused on at 36

  1. I love your post..I am a 69 year old Nana.I ordered your book for one of my Grandsons.He is gay has struggled for 5 years because of a break up.He is currently in Ocenside California in sober living,because he thought he could kill his pain with vodka and pain pills.I wish you nothing but the best in your new adventure.I think you are an amazing person from all the things I read about you..

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